Ulgrim the Unpleasant

(Lore Character)

Lore & Dialog

 * Almost every patch Ulgrim has a handful of unique sayings that relate to that month's content. Some he says if you just talk to him, some he only says if given his favorite beverage, a mug of Stout. Browse the list of patches for each month's sayings. Below are some of his messages that he tends to repeat from month to month.

Repeat Messages
Common messages that are repeated months, and sometimes years, after they were first said.

Keep Your Enemies Closer
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I heard Claude muttering smugly about how the Virindi are masters of time and space. Great bunch of hogwash, that is. I'm the master of time and space."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'm a learned sage! I shouldn't have to put up with this shabby treatment! Get me another stout, kid!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Those mansions I've seen are pretty nice, but nowhere near as nice as the fortress I built for myself on Asherons Island."
 * and then in later events:
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Those mansions I've seen are pretty nice, but nowhere near as nice as the house I built for myself. I used to have a fortress on Asheron's Island, but the neighbors were too loud."

The Widening Gyre
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You think Marae Lassel is so great huh? Here's one important question you have to ask yourself: Does it have Ulgrim on it? That should tell you all you need to know."

The Gathering Storm
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Fending off the Virindi is thirsty work. Fetch me some stout from old Berkholt and I'll clue you in to what's really going on around here, okay, friend?"
 * and then in later events:
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Fending off insane Humarindi is thirsty work. Fetch me some stout from old Berkholt and I'll clue you in to what's really going on around here, okay, friend?


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "The grass is always greener on the other side. At least at my house it was. It's not my fault Dad never understood the basics of preventative lawn care!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You cannot always acquire what you desire. You cannot always acquire what you desire. But if you attempt it occasionally, you potentially could discover, that you acquire what you require. I'm thinking of setting it to music."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Dance for me Drudge Boy!"
 * (Ulgrim forces your character to perform the drudge dance emote)


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Give me any rings you don't want. I've been collecting them ever since I found one near the water the other day."

Betrayal
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've learned all the new portal spells. I especially like the Tie to Ispar."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "Shurov Thispar!"
 * (fades away in portal magic)
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Your Mom says Hi."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Good Stuff!"
 * (drudge dances)
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Whoa!"
 * (plays possum)
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Thats why I dont do that."
 * (does winded and then emits a green mist from his backside)


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, monogamy is for suckers, besides Im married to my job."
 * (takes a drink)
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Thats the stuff!"

Repercussions
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You know what the Virindi call a Royal Atlatl with Deadly Darts?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A Royal Atlatl with Deadly Darts. The Virindi aren't all that creative."

Atonement
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I was tired of having to run over hills just to kill a creature so I created the Arcing Spells. :Now everyone is using them and nobody is giving me any credit! I think I deserve the title Archmage at least."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ulgrim the Archmage, Master of Time and Space, Leader of the Virindi Resistance, Master :Tinkerer, Seer of Truths, Lord of the Jewelry, Supreme Peppermint Cook, Celebrations Advisor to the Queen, Chess Grandmaster, the :Shadow Tested, Virindi Regulator and Beer Lord. Yes, that fits nicely with my other titles."

Verdict
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bah! I told you so!"

Festivus
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey, kid."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Catch."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant gives you Clean, Dry Towel.


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I was writing spell on this scroll"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "An ah shallow shark was like Grrrr Grrrr Grrrr"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "And then, like half my scroll was gone...and I was like..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Unnhh?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It devoured my spell... was a really good spell and then I had to write it again and I had to do it fast, so it wasn't as good..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's kind of....."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "a bummer."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'm Ulgrim and I'm a mage."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I was telling my cousin the other day about this big tusker I saw while traveling across the barren plains. Now, when I say big I mean huge! This thing must have stood over 50 feet tall and it had this strange look in its eyes."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It tried to step on me, but I shockwaved it in the orbs and ran for it. Aliester didn't believe me at first, but I convinced him."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You doubt my chess abilities? Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Yuri, Bobby, Trumper, Blue?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Morons."


 * Ulgrim pauses.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I have heard some weird names, but..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What were your parents thinking?!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Have you seen some of these people's names? So... their mother was really a mule? So they can't reproduce then? That's probably for the best."

The Hall of the Tusker King
 * You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Stout.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've drunk things you people wouldn't believe."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Burning Mana Blasts off the coast of the Caul."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've watched pint glasses glitter in the ephemeral light of portal space."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "All these memories will be lost, like stout from a keg..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Time to drink."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I don't trust that Virindi, Claude, he's hiding something from the rest of us."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Late at night I hear noises and see blue flickering lights coming from his tent."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's he doing in there?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What the heck is he doing in there?"

The Slumbering Giant
 * You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Wah Chon's Winter Lager.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Wah Chon's new brew! It's a bit spicier than what I commonly drink, but it has a wonderful hearty flavor that warms my wintered soul."
 * Ulgrim tips the stein and drains it in one long draught.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Gasp! Great Mattekar that's tasty! This inspires me to rhyme!"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A larger lager lather is the taste I'd rather gather"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "when my lesser lager's suds are in the drink."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Then I mull the flavor over with it's hops and malts and clover"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "and again about the pub is what I think.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "and again about the pub is what I think.


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "It's time to kick it!"
 * (Ulgrim Dances)
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That's my new dance!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A lot of people asked me how I did such a fine job tinkering my amazing sword here."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Come in closer and Ulgrim looks around to see if anyone is listening.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "First I salvaged 100 ingots of orichalcum to make a bar of orichalcum. Herds of Griner often drop orichalcum weapons. Then I used my Ust and..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What do you mean you've never heard of orichalcum! Look I can't be troubled to explain everything to you. Go ask a Lugian or something!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Some mage called me a gimp the other day."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I asked him what a gimp was and he said "You, Gimpy! What kindof a gimp mage has a 40 Focus?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So I portaled him to that new valley everyone is talking about to find out what kind of mage he is."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Maybe I should consider getting some of those new attribute transfer gems."
 * and then in later events:
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I guess he didn't realize that I had used a few attribute transfer gems... What a gimp."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Did you ever wonder where the eggs we eat come from? And what about the supposed chicken our cooks make? I don't eat either of them... just in case."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That white rabbit may look cute an fluffy, but he's an abomination."
 * (Shakes Fist)

That Which Is Ours
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Are you standing comfortably?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Then we'll begin..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Patty Cake"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Patty Cake"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Baker's man"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Bake me a cake"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "As fast as you can."


 * Ulgrim stumbles and mutters something unintelligible, "Y syh uhla tnaysat ra fyc y piddanvmo. Frah ra yfuga, ra hu muhkan ghaf ev ra fyc y piddanvmo tnaysehk ra fyc y syh, un y syh fru ryt tnaysat ra fyc y piddanvmo."
 * SPOILER: Translation

A Perfect Paradox
 * You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Stout.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So! You think you can out-drink me?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yeah, and maybe tuskers will fly out of my..."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "But, seriously you haven't got a chance. I've been training my entire life!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Some monsters get stronger, some monsters get weaker. Just remember what ol' Ulgrim says when :the health is down, fire is raining from the sky and monsters are clawing at his throat."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Strong...weak. I'm the one with the wand


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll stop what those Virindi are planning. Just as soon as I figure out what that plan is."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I drank something."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's with the rabbit costume?"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Did you know my face is on the Soul Staff?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yup, I'm immortalized! It's the third face down. Some people may claim it's the guy who created the staff, but he's nobody and I'm famous."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yesterday, I almost drank a one that was not cold. Good thing I caught myself in time."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Tell Let me give you a bit of advice my friend. Never look up a magician's robe, it ruins the surprise. Wait, or was it a magician's sleeve?"

Across the Vast Divide
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Someone's been staying at my house. I noticed my porridge was eaten and my bed was all mussed up. If I catch him he'll be sorry."

A New Threat
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear old Jaleh got killed. Aaminah really looks as if she's broken up over it. I think we should elect a new leader for Ayan Baqur."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Now let's see... who would make a good leader?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "No, I couldn't!"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Could I?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll do it! I will shoulder the heavy burden of leadership."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "First law I pass? Free drinks for the Mayor!"
 * and then in later events:
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Old Jaleh is dead. I think we should elect a new leader for Ayan Baqur."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Now let's see... who would make a good leader?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "No, I couldn't!"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Could I?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll do it! I will shoulder the heavy burden of leadership."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "First law I pass? Free drinks for the Mayor!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I went to visit the fortune shrine today. Want to hear my fortune?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You will fall into a very deep hole and your broken body will slowly be devoured by the foul things that reside in the lightless places."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "That didn't sound so good."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "My lucky numbers are 6,6,6."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You the man!"
 * You say, "No, You the man!"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You're right, I am."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I've been working on some Olthoi Bait in case they decide to come back. Through long and arduous testing I've discovered that they can't resist stuffed mushrooms. Just walk through a dungeon dropping those things in a line and you can ambush a whole swarm while they're gobbling them up."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I saw a cute little Ursuin Cub the other day. I tried to pat it on the head. Cute little teeth on that cub. See my cute little bite mark?"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "If we build a new town I say we call it Ulgrim's Ridge. Now that's a town name with style!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "There aren't a lot of stimulating people to talk to around here."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I don't mean you of course, you're fascinating."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So, did you see the Archmage in Candeth Keep? I hear her husband is out of the picture. She can buff me anytime! Hubba! Hubba!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Have you noticed how dazed the people at fishing holes look?"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Just try talking to one of them. You'll be lucky if they even acknowledge you. More than likely they'll just stand there casting and casting and casting."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "They're Fishing Zombies! Fishing Zombies I tells you!"


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I hear if you lick a Burun you can see all sorts of cool stuff."


 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Epileptic spongemonkies? I never said that!"

Ashes and Dust
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I bet you didn't know that some magical components are quite deadly if ingested.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I sure didn't."

Down Twisting Paths
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant says, "It's thirsty work, setting up shop back in the desert."

Shining Runes and Shadowed Hands
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I'll never forget how you helped me out with that whole broken wand problem. I really owe you one."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So... here."
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant gives you Stout.
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "You deserve that... Fred. Fredrina? Bah, whatever."

Intelligent Designs
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A bad decision"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Drinking alone in the rain"
 * Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Sorrow wet and cold"

Ulgrim occasionally grants the title "Ulgrim's Happy Hundreth" to someone who hands him a stout: Grand Masterful Poobah Ulgrim has accepted  into the Order of the Empty Mug and conferred the title Happy Hundredth upon the lucky supplicant! Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ooh, you're a lucky one, and you know why? You've given me my hundredth stout of the day!  Or close enough, anyway.  I stopped counting after about fifty.  You actually get to join the Knights of the Empty Mug.  Membership confers no bonuses other than a neat title." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Here's a toast to you, kid."

Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ah, you've proven yourself worthy to join the Ancient and Benevolent Knights of the Empty Mug. Feel free to go around and tell people that you're a Knight of the Empty Mug. I'd show you our secret handshake. But really it only works when you're blind, stumbling drunk." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Just kidding! Boy, how gullible are you? There's no such secret society! Really, the very idea."

Item Interactions
You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Water. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ptooey!" Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I shouldn't..." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ha! I got you with that one."

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Danby's Ale. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ale?" Ulgrim pours out the water. Ulgrim crosses his arms and mutters something under his breath. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Never touch the stuff."

You allow Ulgrim the Unpleasant to examine your Sake. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Ugh! I hate this stuff, but I have a friend who likes it. Maybe you should drop in on him."

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Small Beer. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Shreth piss. Look kid, get me somethin' else."

You give Ulgrim the Unappreciated Wah Chon's Winter Lager. Ulgrim tips the stein and drains it in one long draught. Ulgrim the Unappreciated tells you, "Wah Chon's winter brew!" Ulgrim the Unappreciated tells you, "Gasp! Great Mattekar that's tasty! This inspires me to rhyme!" Ulgrim the Unappreciated tells you, "A larger lager lather is the taste I'd rather gather" Ulgrim the Unappreciated tells you, "when my lesser lager's suds are in the drink." Ulgrim the Unappreciated tells you, "Then I mull the flavor over with it's hops and malts and clover" Ulgrim the Unappreciated tells you, "and again about the pub is what I think."

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Eye Patch. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yar, now I be needin the patch for the other eye. Har-yar and Dar!" You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Eye Patch. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Yar, I be making your special Eye Patch now. Here ye be." Ulgrim the Unpleasant gives you Dual Eye Patch.

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Ulgrim's Scroll. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's this?" Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Hey! This is half of that spell I wrote!" Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Good thing I was able to find the other half at my house. Now let's see..." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A little here..." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "A little there..." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "There good as new... almost. Wow, this is a really good spell. Let me just copy this down..." Ulgrim crouches and writes the spell on the back of his hand. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "Here..." Ulgrim the Unpleasant gives you Ulgrim's Recall Scroll. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "I want you to have it. It won't be all that useful to you I'm afraid, but you never know. Just don't depend on it. I have places to go to."

You give Ulgrim the Unpleasant Spring Cleaner Title Token. Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "So, you run around bopping little animals on the head and you expect to be rewarded for it? You've fallen over Fort Teth one too many times." Ulgrim the Unpleasant tells you, "What's one more then eh? Oh, and here's a Title more fitting your unique abilities." Ulgrim the Unpleasant teleports you with Portal to Teth.